Wednesday, July 27, 2005


People up in arms about the nudity that can be unlocked in Grand Theft Auto. tc_usatoday/sexingamesworriesmakers

Amazing. The game depicts stealing cars, shooting cops, taking on the military, no one cared. What now there are boobs? Congress and the FTC changes its rating overnight.


Thank god, suppositories, plural.

Monday, July 25, 2005

Welcome New Baby

Baby Juliana, 1 hour old.


this is one unsexy tube of lube. Strictly business.

green toilet

At first she was taking a huge dump on a green toilet. Upon closer inspection, I was really disappointed that there was no green toilet. And no woman sh*tting in heels either.

Walmart in China

I'm suprised that there are 47 Walmarts in China. They must be as confused as I about those Sam Walton branded Cheese Puffs. Maybe the regionalize and call them Sam Wang's Cheese Puffs. I wonder if the shoppers there turn items over only to find a "Hecho en America" label.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Bon Voyage

Well Scott is off to drive to Philly tomorrow for med school. Should be exciting, I sympathize and congratulate him.

Surf 9

I have a bad habit of pushing my board in front of me. This Wednesday I did it again and a wave caught it and threw it back at me, nailing me on my chin. I almost bit a chunk the size of a small tooth off the side of my tongue. It was practically dangling off, I could feel it flapping inside my mouth. I thought I might have needed stiches, but amazingly, two days later, it almost fully healed. I hope it doesn't leave a cleft, but it looks like the original shape is reforming. I'd have to say, my tongue is a pretty amazing body part. Well anyway, besides the tongue, I had a pretty good time at Santa Monica, my board desperately needs some wax, but I've improved a bit on my timing. Another thing, about the same time I showed up, this dude in a red MR2 also went surfing. Man I don't know where that thing fit in his car, he didn't have a roof rack.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Surf 8

Got to Sunset Beach at 9:30. For a Wednesday morning it was crowded. About 2 dozen people in the cove and another dozen on the point. Don't people have work? The waves were pretty good, but I didn't start catching any until half the people left. I still need to work on my timing, missed a lot of waves and bailed out early on the rest. Also I didn't realize that the bottom was rocky and not sandy. Still though it was nice to go before going to work, I'm feeling a whole lot more refreshed. Sunset apparently is where all the girls go too.

Monday, July 11, 2005

More Panda Wisdom

Rewards, I like the sound of that! What can it be. Get cranking clever mind.

Panda Wisdom

Apparently the man making up the fortunes at the fortune cookie factory got lazy and decided to refer everything to the internet.

Surf Log 7 - Selson Blue

My tan is not fading evenly, my cousin the doctor recommended I use selson blue on the face, let it sit for 7 to 10 minutes. Usually I don't trust home remedies but actually the active ingriedient in selson blue is selenium sulfide, which I guess is prescribed as an anti fungal and remedy for flaky skin. I thought, if your scalp can get flaky, then perhaps sp too can other parts. Still I didn't take her word for it and consulted the internet before trying it out. Well after following instructions, I found it didn't work. All I got was a couple of layers of skin burned off. What did work was the pore cleanser that sisters like to buy and my dove face moisturizes, that improved my complexion. Made my skin glow.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Come on, Dover! Move your bloo

Caption: Racegoers enjoy ladies day at Royal Ascot in York, June 16, 2005. Over 300,000 people are expected to attend Royal Ascot which has been moved to York racecourse while the Ascot course is redeveloped. REUTERS/Ian Hodgson
Too bad Santa Anita Park doesn't have chicks with awesome hats day.

Saturday, July 9, 2005

Fucked Blind

Wow who knew too much boning can make you blind. Thankfully they put Braille on the packaging. "At issue is sudden vision loss when blood flow to the optic nerve is blocked, a condition called NAION or non-arteritic anterior ischemic optic neuropathy" - I think I know where the blood went. This is like a wonder drug for women, your man will be ready and he can't tell that you caught that face eating bacteria that's been going around.

Tuesday, July 5, 2005

Surf Log 6 - Man Eating Dolphi

On Sunday I had to get up at 4:15 am to drive my parents to the Airport for their ridiculously early flight to Berlin. So after dropping them and my sister off, I woke up Scott at 5:00 so we can go to sunset. Unfortunately the conditions were not good so we went to Santa Monica again for something rideable. We only caught a few ones, but Scott said it was one of those click days for him. I got pretty bored out there, so I started paddling like an ape dragging its knuckles out to sea, that is until this huge dolphin crested the water about 20 feet in front of me. So dolphins don't have a taste for man right?


Had a lot of Korean BBQ this weekend for the fourth at a park in Irvine. I hope I don't get constipated. It was a pretty nice day at the park, on the way back evreryone was shooting off their fireworks, it was almost scary. I'm glad it was the I-5 and those were just for show.

Monday, July 4, 2005

World's Ugliest Dog

No one was kidding about this one. This guy is hideous. Here's the article about "Sam".